Tracey was a mum of a teenager who was engaging in some very self destructive behaviour. The therapist worked with Tracey and at intervals would bring mother and daughter into the therapy room together for some couple work. Tracey had experienced a severe domestic violent relationship with her daughter’s father and had fled to a refuge with her daughter when she was young. Tracey had always struggled with her relationship with her daughter, there was coldness between them, a lack of love and care. Her daughter exhibited extreme behaviours, she was involved in drugs, alcohol and sexual exploitation. Mother and daughter worked hard in therapy to make sense of each other’s behaviour without blaming and criticising. Over time their relationship improved, Tracey went on to have another child in her new relationship and her daughter was welcomed warmly into her new family. This was of course difficult but between them and with the support of the therapist they managed this. Though they later decided to live apart, there newfound relationship with each other continued to develop and her daughter’s risky behaviour greatly reduced.